Evil Villain Smack Down
by shopgirl152
Summary: It's a war of words when Dr. Horrible and Dr. Doofenshmirtz argue over who the better villain is. But who will win? one-shot.


**A/N: **Purely for grins and giggles.

* * *

"I'm Dr. Horrible; I have a degree in Horribleness!" The Doctor leered at the scrawny villain next to him. "And what, pray tell, degree do you have?"

"I'm Dr. Doofenshmirtz; I have a degree in…Doofenshmirtzness? Uh…wait, give me a minute, I've been thinking about this all day…"

Dr. Horrible rolled his eyes. "Oh please; you call yourself a villain? All you ever do is try to take to over the Tri-state area. That, my friend, is small thinking."

"Well, I was told to start small."

"By who? Your _Mom_?"

"No, by my girlfriend. Which is more than I can say for you; at least mine's still alive."

A flicker of sadness passed across Dr. Horrible's face; he quickly wiped it away. "Well, that was necessary. When you are trying to take over the world, you make sacrifices!" He coolly regarded Doofenshmirtz. "So…uh…how long have you two been dating?"

"Oh. Uh…we're not together anymore. She dumped me after our first date."

"Aha! Then you're no better than me!"

"Oh look at me; I'm Dr. Horrible. I'm the best villain ever. I have a freeze ray, which…uh….

"I used and it actually worked. And, unlike _your_ inventions, it doesn't have a stupid 'inator name. It's just a freeze way, because that's what it's called!"

"Hey, you have no idea how challenging it is to come up with a new 'inator' name for my inventions. Believe me, with all the inventions I've made, it's a challenge." He smirked suddenly, regarding the Doctor before him. "But I bet I have something you don't."

"Oh yeah? What's that?"

"A nemesis!" Dr. Doofenshmirtz looked expectantly toward the window. "A nemesis!" He turned back to Dr. Horrible. "One second." Walking over to the window, he yelled as loud as he could. "I SAID I HAVE A NEMESIS!" No answer. "Heh, well, Perry must be busy today. He's usually here everyday at this time. He should be here any minute…"

_Five minutes later_

"Oh nevermind. But…I…I do have a nemesis."

Dr. Horrible snickered. "Well, I have a nemesis too; with a better name. Captain Hammer!"

"Captain Hammer?" Dr. Doofenshmirtz fell down on the floor in a fit of giggles. "What? Does he carry a giant hammer around? Does he…" he snickered. "Hit people over the head with justice? Oh wait, does he—"

Doofenshmirtz was interrupted by a blur that came crashing through the window. He rolled his eyes as Perry rolled over to him, getting to his feet, ready to fight. "Oh, _now_ you show up. You couldn't show up five minutes earlier?" Perry dropped his fist, looking from one Doctor to the other. "Perry the Platypus, this is Dr. Horrible. He thinks he's special because he has his own _blog_."

Dr. Horrible snickered. "This is your nemesis? A platypus? And not only a platypus, but one that wears a fedora? You're kidding me right? What can he possibly d—

In one swift movement, Perry launched himself at the Doctor, smacking him in the eye with his tail. He landed on the floor, beckoning Dr. Horrible to try again.

"Ow!" Dr. Horrible clapped a hand over his rapidly bruising eye. "My eye! Stupid platypus; you got me with your tail!"

Dr. Doofenshmirtz couldn't help smirking. "Yeah, that tail will get you every time. Now…" he got to his feet. "As I was saying; I have a nemesis. What do you have?"

"Uh, my own blog?"

"Well…I…uh…well, this is awkward." Dr. Doofenshmirtz looked around, his eyes landing on the recording studio in the corner. "Well, you may have a blog, but I have an evil jingle. Hit it boys!"

Suddenly a trio of singers appeared in the recording studio. "Okay boys, a one, a two, a one, two three four…

_Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated!_

"What do you think _now_ Mr. Evil Blogger? Pretty good huh?"

Dr. Horrible snorted. "Really? Have you seen my blog? The title is Dr. Horrible's _Sing-a-Long _Blog. The entire thing is a musical!"

"Oh. Uh…" Dr. Doofenshmirtz stuck his hand out awkwardly. "Truce then?"

"Forget it; I'm out of here. I don't waste time with Evil Wannabes."

"Hey! I'm not an Evil Wannabe! I really _am_ evil!" He turned to Perry, who was casually leaning against the wall. "I _am_ evil, right Perry the Platypus?" Perry grinned weakly at him, giving him a thumbs up. "See!" Dr. Doofenshmirtz ran toward the door, sticking his head into the hallway, calling to the other Doctor's retreating back. "My nemesis thinks I'm evil!"

"Leaving!"

"Okay, you know what Mister Hot Stuff? Tomorrow I'm going to have my name changed! I'm going to have it changed to Dr. Evil! Then I can say 'I'm Dr. Evil; I have a degree in Evilness!'"

Dr. Horrible turned around on the stairs, an incredulous look on his face as he regarded Dr. Doofenshmirtz. "And you just now thought of that?"

"Yes. I am quite proud of it actually."

Dr. Horrible rolled his eyes. "Later Evil Wannabe."

"I AM NOT A WANNABE!" Dr. Doofenshmirtz slammed the door. "I tell you Perry the Platypus. Some people just don't know when to quit."


End file.
